Friday, December 30, 2011

Goodbye 2011

Well I want to start by saying what a year!!!  Life has been crazy since I last posted in early December.  We have had holidays with family (some not so good, some fabioso), we have traveled and I am impatiently waiting for my baby granddaughter to come in February.

When last I posted, we were in Ohio and it was great to see Sweet’s family.  We went out to eat, went to a charity event at the local VFW in Parma.  That is where I met Frank and Jen DeLorenzo, the founders of Wags4Warriors.  Fantastic people that match veterans with trained service dogs to help those whose lives have been affected by their combat experience.  The dog’s help in calming the veteran and take away the stress and struggles faced on a daily basis now that they are home.  This is all done at no cost to the veteran, so the foundation needs donations of money, dog supplies, and dog food or just help in getting the word out to everyone!!

It’s an amazing foundation and I urge everyone to like them on facebook or go to their website for any support you can muster!

So anyhoo, another thing that I was able to experience for the first time in my life was flying down a toboggan chute!  Oh my goodness it was a blast!  I had to do it over and over even though we had 20 layers of clothing and it was freezing.  We were flyin’ down the chute screaming (well I was) and then collapsed into giggling messes (ok, me again) as the sled came to a stop.  Soo fun!

The rest of the week we did some shopping and had a nice family dinner on our last night in Ohio.  It was nice meeting some of Sweet’s extended family, they scooped me up into hugs and it felt familiar.  Far different from my own fam, but that’s another story.

We left Ohio and made our way to Wisconsin to spend time with Sweet’s mom and stayed at this really nice place called Glacier Canyon Lodge in the Wisconsin Dells.  It was a beautiful and among other amenities, had the largest indoor waterslides.  Although a couple of them were closed, there were some slides that were still open and we had sooo much fun!  I can’t believe this life I have now, one week flying down a toboggan chute and six days later, I’m flying down a waterslide!  Thank you God!!!

When we came home it was the usual, Christmas shopping for gifts and a tree.  Family and friends stopping by with Christmas cheer, a few fab parties, cozy family dinners, and happy birthdays.  It really was a great holiday season!  Now as New Years is approaching I can only hope for another fantastic year!  I appreciate all my blessings, my family, friends and the memories that are now in the books as 2011 is coming to a close. 

Best wishes to you and yours!

Happy New Year!!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Blogging once again, but writing? Bleh...

Well, my last post was October 28th. October 28th! I can't believe how time flies when your having fun. Since my last post talking about my trip to Massachusetts we have been so busy.  As you know, Sweet took me to Massachusetts then after Halloween (great Halloween party) and our downtime, we hosted a Thanksgiving soiree with the fam, we then left for Korea for four days. It was a quick shopping trip and boy did we shop, it is a great way to give an economical Christmas.  During our flight we crossed the international dateline which was insane.  Sweet asked me if I noticed that we didn't see a sunset to which my sleepy reply was "huh?"  Sweet explained it was because we were chasing the sun.  Which truthfully, somewhere in the back of my mind where the marbles roll, I knew that but just waking to a smiley face wanting to share knowledge?  I listened and learned..  it was cute.

So we are now in Ohio visting his family and exploring the great state of Ohio. Next we are making our way to Wisconsin to visit more family and stay in the Dells for a few days.  Although fun, it has been exhausting and my writing has taken a beating.

Don't get me wrong, I love the traveling but I also miss the downtime. I miss my dogs (Oliver a Pom puppy and Lady a Pom adult (Oliver's aunt).  I miss sitting at my laptop table with my research all around, my glasses laying haphazardly on some books, my music playing in the background and the only noise is the story in my head talking to me faster than I can type.  Sometimes at night, the story creeps from the darkness taunting me, wanting me to follow it and when I don't or can't?  Stays there and begins stories that only come in the night.  Jumping from one story to the next making no sense.  You know the kind of dreams that people want to look up and tell you what it means as though they are palm readers with the remaining days of your life already layed out and only they know how it will play and can't wait to tell you. 

So I am beginning again and will write all the stories out of my head.  Although the dreams will probably stay until satiated as I can't get up in the middle of the night at someone else's house like I do at home.  My dream last night was located at my grandmother's old house only it wasn't in the city to which she lived at the end of her life.  It was actually in my old neighborhood where I lived until we divorced.  Weird, her house in place of my old one.  (ssssshhhhh, don't tell the dreamreaders)  Anyhoo, we were at some kind of party with many people swirling about.  Even Brad and Angelina were there but they retired to a makeshift muddy hottub (?) underneath my old oak shade tree where they were naked and facing each other laughing at an inside story.  So I left with my best girlfriend in her new car (?) with a little tan purse that held stuff like a Magic hat that holds a bunny.  We go into a big city which reminded me of Gotham and into a grunge like dance bar located in an industrial area.  We then come out laughing and get into her car to which I realize ...   no purse!  In a panic, I get out of the car and run back to the industrial area and begin asking everyone if they have seen it.  I am panicked about all the things I have lost and begin an inventory in my head as I hold back tears. 

I finally (after looking and looking completely panicked) look into an old style metal garbage can and right on top, underneath some brown and soggy gross lettuce is my purse, tan but dirty with some kind of melting whipped cream or ice cream on it.  I grab it up and begin to run back to my friends car (of course she waited in the middle of the freeway) got in the car and began cleaning the outside of the purse.  I finally look inside and my drivers license and library card is missing.  All the credit cards, cash, jewelry, etc..  is still there.  Although relieved, I now worry about having to pay $55 to replace the license.  Then I wake up.  The funny thing is at breakfast today while pouring my coffee, I still had the stress of the $55 until I realized it was a dream.  hahahaha?  So take that all you dream interpretaters, bring it!

I think all in all..  I didn't make the time to write because for a moment I was afraid of my writing which is what kept me from writing all these many years.  Not good enough, noone wants to read it, why would anyone read it..  blah blah blah..  If you are a seasoned or new writer, I can't imagine that it is any different for you.  I guess it is all in how you handle it.  I am diving right back in and will continue on with my goals.  Thanks for listening..

Have a Happy Holiday season and talk with you soon~

Friday, October 28, 2011

My trip to Massachusetts!!

Well, Sweet and I got back from our trip last Saturday and I finally have the chores, laundry and unpacking all caught up so I can blog now.  I have to say for a short time blogger, I missed it.  I tried mobile blogging but I think that is something you will have to do when you practice and not while traveling.  Sheesh, I was afraid of what might post.  Ha!

So we started our trip on Saturday the 15th, which was such a beautiful morning, and before we even got out of the driveway, my ever fabulous travel coffee mug was knocked over and spilled the entire contents all over the car mat!  Of course this had to be cleaned, alas that took a little of time.  Sweet is very particular about his mats.. hhmmmm.  Not that I am not but I have had children and have cleaned many a mess in a short amount of time.   Anyhoo, we were on the road and then it was requested of me to download the United app for my iPhone. Whaaaa…

Yes there is an app for that!  Since we are standby fliers (not so bad actually) it is so much easier to track flight status, seating maps and check other flights.  Very cool!  So I downloaded and was the bestest flight navigator that Sweet could ask for!  So we get checked in and on our flight (5 ½ hour flight) when I meet our seatmate whose name was Paula.  I love meeting people when we fly and getting to know them as it does help with character building in my stories.

So back to Paula, she is a 56 year old nurse administrator that was going to Massachusetts, Nantucket I think, to stay with some friends and just get away.  She talked about her “friend” Jim and how he is already retired and loves to travel and wants her to retire so they can travel together, but she is hesitant, I got the idea that he wants all of her time and she has her job that she loves and her three grown daughters.  He wants her to move in but she likes her independence.  We talked about the different places that she has been and we have been and some of them we had both experienced.  So we chatted about that.  Then the movie!  I love this part!  We watched Mr. Popper’s Penguins! I have wanted to see that movie for so long!  Sweet then ordered us some drinks with sandwiches and a fruit and cheese plate.  Cozy,  I love him sooooooo…

So we land at Logan International and as we walked over to luggage pick up I noticed that the terminal waiting areas have rocking chairs.   *cute*

So we got our rental car and drove the two plus hours to Provincetown where we were staying.  The reason for this trip was to gather research for my book and boy did I!!  The first day we went wine tasting in Truro then to Wellfleet for the Oysterfest which was a blast!  If you ever get out there you need to check it out!

Day 2 was exploring Provincetown! Aaaaaamazing!  Commerical Street, the beaches, houses, history and boatdocks.  We ate at the Lobster Pot, so yummy!!

Day 3 was Salem Mass!  This is where my research started and it was everything I imagined it would be.  We went to the Witch Memorial, the wax museum, the burying ground, gallows hill, the witch museum and ate at Rockafellas where Sweet took the Helltini Challenge for which he was honored with a shirt for his completion of the drink. 

Day 4 was pouring down rain, so when the rain lightened be went to the Wydah Pirate Museum and then to a little market called the East End Market, tres chic! We bought sliced salami at the deli and Vermont cheddar cheese with some Thinwater crackers to eat with some of the wine we bought at the Truro Vineyard. 

Day 5 was off to Plymouth with a stop at the Pilgrim Monument and museum first.  We climbed to the top and what …  a…   climb…  (sorry, out of breath)  Then it was onto Plymouth where we went to the Mayflower II exhibit and threw pennies on Plymouth Rock, then went to the nearest winery (Plymouth Bay Winery) where they have wines made of fruit other than grapes.  Very tasty!  If you ever go, please say Hi to Michael from Rachel!! 

Day 6 was Boston day!  I was really excited about this because this is for the research also, so we took a tour of the red line of history that is the Freedom Trail with an orator named “Bully” Jim Denton, a direct descendent of James Denton (1793-1865, of Braintree, MA).  Dressed in 18th century garb he took us by churches, the place where John Hancock’s house had once stood, the burial ground the held Paul Revere, James Otis, Ben Franklin’s Parents and so many other historical figures.  Then we went to the old state house and Faneuil Hall and so many other sites with a story along the way.  It was great!  Of course we had to stop at Cheers to eat, have a lager and take pics, the best day of all!

The flight home was uneventful but exhausting and all in all it was a successful trip to which I have learned quite a bit for my book.  Thanks to Sweet for taking me on this trip, sharing a beautiful Atlantic sunset and putting up with me saying Lobstahhh and gaaalic all week long!!

Love you honey!

 so much

Friday, October 14, 2011

I am a Traveler!

I can remember when I started my senior year and I had a job at McDonalds (Honest, it wasn’t the money, they could have paid me in Big Macs) and I dreamed that I would save my money and buy a ’56 convertible VW bug with a sun roof that folded back to let the sun wink in at me and throw daily good luck kisses as I made my way through the journey. 

After graduating high school, I was going to drive until I was low on money then stop wherever I was and find a place, get a job and save more money.  My bug would be the only social media I would need to meet my new friends along the way and once the old pot at the end of my rainbow was filled up again, I would move on and do it all over until I made it to New York or decided to stay.  You know to set up shop and plant some kind of a root system if it was right.

Well that was a little girl of seventeen who thought that life was limitless and anything was available for the taking.  She was going to make it to Manhattan, live in one of the top floors of a central park west apartment building and someone was going to give her job as an editor with a major publishing company.  Who needs a college degree, right?

 Life would be Fab!  She would travel the world because her job mandated it and she would come home only when she could get away from her life.  –kiss kiss-   

Romance on the Rivera
Flirting in France
Iconic status in Italy                                                      
Cocktails in the Caribbean
Hiatus in Hong Kong

sigh…    The plan was foolproof!

Then a little blue stick with a plus line on it changed everything.  Must say only sad the first three months, then the excitement of my baby and the possibilities moved from the carefree dreams of a world traveler to the most important job of all.  Mommy~

As I was packing last night and checking off the to do list this morning for my trip to Boston, where Sweet is taking me so I can complete the research for my book that I know will just sweep the world once published (I have already printed my tea party invites to J.K. and Stephenie for our first of many soiree’s).  I went back to that young girl and thought of her and her sure fire plan.  Seems like so long ago and although zero regrets for my blessings that continued, I often think what would have happened to the innocent little lass…. 

SLAP!  Wake up!  What do you think would have happened to her?  T*R*O*U*B*L*E

I have always said that everything happens for a reason and I know that in this case it is true.  I know some of you out there are non believers but it has truly come full circle! My children are all grown and gone, one with kids and one with a little one on the way.  One has set up life far away and me?  My life reverted back to that little girl, albeit smarter, stronger and (ahem) wiser.  The timeshare and limitless fly miles don’t hurt.

No I am not going to take off and cruise the country to stop and make friends –tiring- but I do have the convertible mustang (she couldn’t have afforded this), I have Sweet to share it with and he is actually interested in everything I am interested in.  In the last two and half years we have been to Korea, three islands of Hawaii, camping in the Redwoods, Mt. Lassen, Grand Canyon’s North Rim and Yosemite several times.  I have been to Ohio, Pennsylvania, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Nevada and now going to Massachusetts.  I have been rafting on the Sacramento River, joined in on several biker runs, golfed in a tournament where I was the only woman included (I had the clutch play for second place!    Just sayin’), Museums, wine tasting, tasted food I never thought I would and the list goes on and on!

I think now is the time and I am in the right place at the right time and everything is as it should be.  I have set up shop on the dining room table crowded with the laptop, glasses, research books, notes for my book and this life as an up and coming author.  Sweet will occasionally check in and ask how the book is coming and I discuss ideas with him and he suggests, debates, high fives. I think that it is everything any new writer could ask for.  When I began googling the Boston area and exhaustingly tried to make heads or tales (get it?) of the map.  He said, “Let’s just go there!”  I said, “Let’s just go there!”  (I threw in a Yayyy and some kisses I think)

The thought that someone would give up a week of time earned vacation to support someone is the greatest belief in me that anyone has ever had. So now I must go and finish packing, stop the mail, get my Winking Lizard hat and excitedly leave my bags in the foyer for I am a Traveler! 

Yes!  I am going to practice blogging from the road...   go me!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Once Moodie Bluedie, now finally Alive!

Fear, courage, guilt, innocence, anger, compassion, happiness, sadness, defensiveness, defender of all, frustration, hope….

I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t have someone to answer to or something to answer for.  I also can’t remember a time when everyday I wasn’t filled with a bucket of emotions that came in waves crashing at me, receded then crash again.

The emotional theatre had created its first season’s playbook and I felt each one, some even at the same time!  Let me just say, it was not a pretty scene.  Not sure how I got to a place where I let the opinion of others or their treatment of me mold me into this meek vicious person, but it happened.  Before I knew it?  I was…   Mooodie Bluedie!

The OH so welcomed diagnosis of early stages of menopause (Peri those medical types call it) only added to the emotions that had taken residence in me from a young age.  The stories that could be told were what melodrama’s are made of and so exhausting at the time. yet so comical now when I talk about those good ole days.  Prime example:

Youngest kid and I are embroiled in actual face to face verbal combat.  The kid is seventeen and bubbles of emotions are flying around our heads but not popping. YK yelling that something isn’t fair, yet again? Me trying to calm him and myself down..  tooo much..  pressure building.. gonna blow….

Me:  Shut up when you’re talking to me!!  (pointer finger raised and shaking as if on a pulpit)

Him:  Whaaat?  (head shake’s and then pops back in total confusion)

Me:  Go to your room!

Ahhhh, memories!!  Where’s Barbra when you need her?

This went on for several years and many other stories of how I was crazy or what was I thinking came out of this time. Mostly it was from all those people that resided with me during the Royal Oaks period.  Finally the menopausal emotions subsided, I was then left with the emotions that were familiar and now stood out to me.  I didn’t like them.  I had gotten through stage one of “the pause” with a houseful of people that left me alone to do it with a cheer of good lucks. Did anyone notice that the only thing I wasn’t feeling was alive? I didn’t until then and I was intent on finding it.

Finally, years later into my quest, the first time I felt alive was the first time I was on the back of Sweet Significant’s Harley.  I still had scars from the previous life and although the wounds were no longer open, they were still there like red thick squiggly lines across my heart.  Nothing Vitamin E could cure although someone once told me that Cabernet had all the vitamins I needed and no prescription was required.  Hmmm..  

Anyhoo, Sweet called me up one day after we had been seeing each other for a couple of months and asked if I wanted to go for a ride and although I really wanted to stay at home and have a pity party with that bottle of Cab, (purely for the nutrition of course) I said absolutely. I could hear his Softail from my living room and went outside, he drove up onto the grass in front of my apartment, handed me a helmet and with his beautiful never ending smile, he said, “jump on baby.”  The exhilaration that ran through my body, breath and blood was nothing that I have ever felt.  We drove through the delta loop and as we rounded the swerves and curves in the road, I just threw my arms out wide and felt the wind the from the ride blow right through me.  I lifted my face up to the sky and felt the sun kiss my forehead and cheeks. 

The vast openness of the land flying by and the sweet smell of the country air made me smile.  We then stopped at a restaurant to have lunch and chatted the way you do when you’re learning about another person.  We then got back on the bike to finish another loop of open road.  It was just what my soul needed. It was a great scar diminishing day.  It was the first day that nothing that had been holding me down had mattered.  I was beholden to no one that day and what a great feeling!  I wanted more…

I realized that responsibility is not emotional chains and baggage of obligation to someone else, it is a character trait that is beholden only to me.

Now the emotions are still there but they don’t swirl around uncontrollable, they are tucked away and only come out in appropriate situations. Peace, a little time to take a step back, getting the hell outta dodge and not to mention a very well timed epiphany.  Here I am and Oh boy! I will be a writer!  I am a writer!  It is no longer in my dream box under my bed.  All things are possible and I am Alive!  


Monday, October 10, 2011

It's a Dogs Life

My parents always watch our Pom puppy when we are away.  So as soon as we get home I usually help Sweet with the unloading then I go and get our Pupperton.  I walk in my parent’s home and he is in the backyard with the other dogs.  When I say the other dogs, I mean my parents dogs, which are his mom, pop, grandmother and brother.  This is Oliver’s family.

I look through the screen door and call him, he comes running and jumps in my arms with licks and kisses.  The other dogs come running as well and are jumping at my feet.  I talk with my parents for a little bit with tales of our travels and they tell me about Pupperton’s fun, I put him in his travel crate and then we make our way home.  When I get home, Sweet and I give him a bath then he is usually tired and passes out from all the playing he did.

Sweet and I were traveling on and off this last week and as stated above the same ritual went on with the addition of my daughter’s dog that is Oliver’s aunt, who stayed with us for several days in between trips.  They played and slept and ate and it’s just a Pom festival!  Until Middle Kid comes to get her then he is alone with us and again passes out from the fun.

So this last time when I picked him up and watched them play through the screen door.  I made an offhanded comment to my mother saying that Oliver would be bored with us since he has been visiting a member of his family for the last two weeks and that he has a better relationship with his family than all of us!  Mom and I laughed then Pupperton and I left.  On my way home, I thought about what I had said and wondered if it were true. Mom didn’t deny it and my thoughts turned into memories of when I was little and how we used to go over to my aunts and uncles homes. Visiting and playing with cousins, spending weeks at a time in the summer, birthday parties, holidays, reunions, marriages and sadly funerals.  Then it all ended.  We grew up, grandparents passed, people moved, second generation began having children and families.  Jobs, school, successes and tribulations got in the way. 
Now all these years later, I have cousins that I don’t know.  Some of them, I don’t even know their names and they aren’t sure who I am either. Which is sad because I am also trying to keep my own family together.  It’s trying when this one is not speaking to that one, or someone said something that ticked another person off so much that a phone number is blocked from calling.  Alliances are formed then diverted, Facebook messages are sent that says somebody defriended you or you have been blocked from requesting them again. I could go on but I think you get it.

Please don’t get me wrong, we all still get together for the occasional wedding, we email and text the ones we still have a relationship with and of course the facebook.  But it’s not the same and I still have scars from the explosion that was my life and my children’s childhood.  I still get hairs on the back of my neck when I hear my kids talk about that side and how they are a family.  I want to shout out, so are we!!

I thought more about Oliver’s simple family when I nearly escaped the seduction that is my children’s fathers machine the other day.  I call it the W machine and it used to be a part of me and my family so I can tell you from experience it will roll along grabbing, snatching and snarling at anyone that dares to get in the way of it’s definition of a superior and all knowing family leadership and yet the bite always comes with a smile. 

I have been a part of this viciousness since I was sixteen and even after divorce and the remarriages, the machine continued to grow and the teeth got bigger and more righteous.   

Weird that all that time I thought that I had to live through those daily assaults from him and the new Mrs. W.  I actually thought that this was my life and I just had to be strong and deal with it, not that I was completely innocent in the opinion war.  HA!  Though me thinks great fodder for a yummy protaganist!

Not until I met this woman that had been leading a group I participated in, did I realize that I didn’t have to be.  We had started on a discussion of relationships, emotions and the social unit.  I brought up some stories of my life intending to help the person that started the discussion.  Then Whammo!

The instructor looked at me and plainly said, “You are in charge of your own emotions, no one can tell you how you should react to something nor judge you on it.”  I stopped cold.  Whaaaa?  How come no one told me that before?

She went on to say, “If I jumped on this desk and screamed, shouted and pointed to a mouse in the corner.  Would you yell at me to calm down and not act that way about seeing the mouse?  Or have your own emotion about the mouse?”

Of course I told her that I would probably jump up on the table also and yell louder than her while instructing the remaining souls on how to catch the mouse.  After I left the class, it resonated so loudly with me that I told Sweet about it and many others since.  I am allowed my own emotions! I have been freed!!   I will no longer have my actions defined by others and am free of the W machine.  As I was dancing with my scarf (saw it in a movie and thought is was time to use it) swirling in the kitchen and enjoying the release, Sweet asked in his infinite innocent way.  “Why would you think you had to answer to anyone?  Blah… (dancing stops and eyes look to the side) 

I tell you all this because I learned a few things about this thing called family with my new epiphany.  It doesn’t matter who is talking to who, who is right or wrong, who did all the work, who didn’t.  Opinions and gossip no longer rule the day.  In the simplest terms I note, a bloodline makes no difference, a family is the people closest to you to whom you care, hope and pray for, laugh and cry with, fight and love for no matter what. It’s all about who is running around the backyard with you panting, barking, biting and who’s arms you can jump into with licks and kisses!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Me and the Universe

I am a born and raised Catholic and pretty proud of it.  I was baptized, went to catechism on Saturday’s when all the other kids were sleeping in or watching cartoons.  Then came the first communion and lastly or dare I say finally the confirmation!  Oh, then of course I put my children through all that as well!  Which meant I had to go to church while they were going because I couldn’t be a hypocrite, right? 

Then came the day, about four years after Youngest Kid made his confirmation when I was sitting by myself in church one beautiful Sunday morning and I had an epiphany!  I was still going to church all by myself out of habit.  Of course I didn’t walk out, but I did daringly not go the next Sunday, then the one after that and so on.  Until one day, the old catholic guilt set in and as I laid in bed I was actually arguing with myself whether I should get up and go.  So as I watched the clock tick closer to the D-minute where I wouldn’t be able to make mass, I declared aloud to Him.  

“I don’t have to go if I don’t want to!”  (no, no, lightening did not strike but I thought I heard a thunderstorm)

So now I am in charge of my own beliefs and free of guilt!  Yayyy right?  I still toy with the idea of going back to church even though I pray and have developed a guilt free relationship with Him on my own. 

Well cut to six years later and I am sitting in my apartment with my daughter’s dog, a glass of Merlot watching Under the Tuscan Sun with a box of tissue and some Chinese Food.  Wondering what the hell happened to my life!!  When my Besti FF calls and asks if I want to go to the Friday night melee that is downtown in the summer.  “But of course” I say in my worst french impression.

So here we are, Friday night, dressed up and the band is starting.  I am standing next to her and holding a beer, we are looking around and bobbing our heads while swaying back and forth to the music.  (yes it looked just as I described it.  I’m cool right?)  When I see him, the ex coming through the crowd with each arm around a girl.  OMGsh, heart squeezin’, can’t breathe, scream building, calm, calm. Wait, did he walk through a cloud of light?

When a person whose name I can’t remember (a little league acquaintance) steps in front of me and begins talking about relationships, blah, blah, blah. I am trying to look around her to see what he is doing and if he saw me, yep just like grade school on the playground.  When her voice comes back into focus and I say what???  Then she repeats it…

“What kind of man do you want?  Let’s throw it out there to the universe!”  Whaaaaa?

I said what any good and loyal catholic girl would say.  “You mean to God?  I already have, actually ever since the debacle that was my kids’ dad.”

No she says, make a list and throw it out there and ask for it!  You’re drunk I quip back.  Well, what do I have to lose!  So I do.

* I want him to be 6’2” to 6’4” (I’m 5’2”)

* I want him to have blue or green eyes

* I would love Brown hair, preferably a little long

* He is one or two years older than me

* Must be responsible

* Must have had a job for a long time

* Must be good with money

* Must be honest

* Must like kissing

* I want him to have a good heart

* He has to own his own house, so he has somewhere to go

* He has to be a traveler

* He has no kids or current ex’s in his life

* Bonus would be if he had a Harley

There it was!  My perfect guy, the One that I have been looking for while making my way through this thing called life.  The One that doesn’t exist.  Oh boo hoooooo!    

Two weeks later I am walking into a lobby of a bar/restaurant whilst out with friends.  A tad tipsy, I see this guy coming towards me so I stop him and ask if I can ask him a question because I just have to know.  He says sure and smiles.

*gulp*  I ask if I can kiss him.   So not like me!!  He says yes.  Yuuummmmoooo!!  I was right, just as I thought it would be.  The rest they say is history, we have been together ever since and the list thrown out to the universe?   Everything except the hair, well Sweet Significant had long brown but due to follicle challenges he began having, he is now bald.  Sexy, sexaaaay!

Since then I have had many discussions with people who are in need of something or someone and I let them boo hoo for a while then I tell them whether they pray or not, whether that have a religion or not, whether they have watched The Secret (I haven’t but Sweet wants everyone to) it doesn’t hurt to just ask and throw it out there.  The only thing to remember is to be true to your conviction.  Know what it is you are asking for because you might get it and if you do.  You better be ready.

So here is my next request to the Universe….  Question:  What do I want for my future?

Here it is Universe!  I will work hard to get it…

* A full time writing career as an author

* A fabulous go get ‘em agent that gets it and me

* A research assistant that enjoys traveling, giggles and laughs while we work

* A publishing company that brings with it a family and a team oriented working relationship

* My published books on shelves and in libraries,

* A part time career as a Travel Writer

* Earn just enough money to spend, play, pay my bills and save money for retirement without worry.

* Actually find my safe harbor to work and play there with family and friends.

* Bring back Book Mobiles with books of my newly formed writer friends

The last one reminds me of when I was little and I would wait by the sidewalk for the bookmobile like the other neighborhood kids waited for the ice cream truck.  *sigh*   good times~

So with that, it’s out there.  No need to finger cross, believe and throw yours out there.  Remember…    Conviction!

Have a great weekend my friends!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Crazy Creative Emotions

Sometimes as I write on my blog, my short stories, writing prompts or the book that I just know I will be able to share with the world one day. I am often brought to tears at my own writing.  *dork*   Yep, as I am writing the tears just begin to flow.  I once wrote a story in the middle of Costco so I could test the keyboard of a laptop and just boo hoo’d as though noone else was there.   

With each heartfelt stroke of the pen or keystroke I find that some things just jump up and become something that I didn’t even know I had within myself.  Like a memory of personal tribulation or great joy, even a story that was told to me by a friend or passing stranger that I have held onto deep within. I can also say that certain stories bump up against my pocket of happiness or my bubble of sadness even though I thought I had blown that bubble away.

So today I wrote a story for a writing prompt on Writer’s (which I love!) that wanted us to write about a special anniversary.  The story started as something I had once heard from a friend and ended up a story about two people I never met, but now consider friends.  Yes, I cried.

So I thought I would share this with you all and please if it connects with you or someone you know please let me know.  I would love to find out if others have the same experiences and if not, what are yours?

Thanks so much!!


In the Rearview Mirror

He pulled up in front of the old church as the whispering winds swirled the leaves up around the tall steeples on either side of the building.  Martin walked in through the large oak doors and waited in the vestibule for Henry.  He could see him standing there with the others holding a chip.  They were patting him on the back and everyone was smiling.  As the crowd made their way to the refreshment tables for coffee and desserts, Henry looked up and finally saw him then walked over and looked Martin carefully in the eye and said what he said every year.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it this year.”

“I told you I would come as long as you needed me even though I don’t agree with it”

“Ya Ya, I know.  Look eight year chip”

“Nine year anniversary, are you ready?”

They walked out of the church together and down the steps to Martin’s car and they began the drive they made every year to Tahoe and back.  As the familiar drive took them through the freeways, tree lined and mountainous roads they talked about Martin’s new baby and his job.  Henry wanted to know everything that was happening to him.  Oh the joy of a good life!  Something that Henry knew deep down that he would never have but wouldn’t admit it.

Martin finally pulled into the familiar parking lot at Henry’s old watering hole, McP’s pub. They entered and sat at the bar.  Martin ordered an ice tea and water for them as they sat in silence and remembered that night so many years ago.  The drinks, the women, dancing and getting in the car for the long drive home, then the crash, the fire, the blood, the sirens, the chaos, the hospital, the regret and the enduring sadness that will forever linger.

“Are you ready for the drive back?”  Martin said with an understanding look as Henry nodded.

Back in Martin’s car they drove in silence until they came upon the site where it all happened.  Martin grabbed the flowers in the backseat and got out to lay them against the scarred tree as Henry stood with his hands folded in front of him.  They stood in silent comradeship.  Martin then walked back to the car and got in while Henry took a minute more then followed him for the long ride home. 

“Just drop me back at the church man,” Henry said as they drove into town. “I’m going to need another meeting.”

“Are you sure?” Martin asked with a heartbroken break in his voice. “You need to forgive yourself, it’s not your fault she died.”

“That’s what they keep saying but I was driving.  I am just glad you were ok.”  Henry was out of the car now and walking up the church steps towards the oak doors. As Martin drove away, he looked in the rearview mirror at the old abandoned church to see his friend vanish into thin air.


Wednesday, September 28, 2011

A delicate flower of spring

A delicate flower of spring is how I have often described Middle Kid.  She is tough, mean at times and has a tongue like a sword.  She is also caring, loving, loyal, beautiful, funny and just plain delicious.  I can hear the laugh that grows from her belly and pours out of her smile and dimples.  I wouldn’t have it any other way and as I sit here thinking of her and the baby that is growing inside of her, I get so melancholy that my stomach often jumps with love and pride. 

This isn’t to say that we haven’t had our moments!  Oh you betcha!  Screaming matches, slamming doors, tears, nose to nose confrontations that I won of course.  Pets passing, school bullies, brothers (need I say more?), divorce and remarriages.  Unfortunately for the only girl in the family besides myself, her Dad and I put her and her brothers through so much just so we could one up each other and boast or defend how much we loved each of them.  She always took it to heart.  That’s not to say that we didn’t have the best of times too!  I want to remember those times forever and I pray that her and the baby have three times the moments we did.

Things I remember….

I remember her in my arms and wrapped like a burrito.  The wide brown eyes looking back at me and after telling her Hi, the wide dimpled, toothless grin.

I remember MK (age 3) and First Born (age 4) in the backyard of our first house with McDonald Happy Meal plastic pumpkins on their heads with the handle around their little chins playing pirates in the dirt with sticks.

I remember the years of Wednesday night female bonding (age 7, 8, 9) where it would be just her and I (the boys were with their dad) doing whatever we wanted.  Out to dinner, doing homework, talking and laughing, dancing, singing, shopping, cooking, watching our favorite TV shows, her wearing my shoes and walking around the house.

I remember when we would shop for her birthday (age 12) and she would walk around Mervyn’s and look for the items that she had hidden over that past year throughout the store.  Gifts that she wanted to buy for me, her brothers, stepsisters, grandparents and even her dad.  I had to wipe her tears and convince her that although it was nice to buy them stuff, the trip was for her birthday.  Then she would convince me that that was what she wanted for her birthday, give them presents.  It made her happy.

I remember her first day of high school and stopping at the coffee shop for first day of school mochas then driving right up to the front of school and giving her hugs and kisses with a tear in my eye waiting for her to get out of the car.  MK sitting in the car frozen and staring forward, not wanting to get out, me leaning across her to open the door from my seat just to get her out and walk in.  She closed it again and with a nervous giggle and saying “I don’t want to go”.  Us repeating this two more times before I could get her out. 

I remember her first car that she purchased on her own by saving all her money from the bobby sox umpire earnings she had mastered all spring and summer.  The piece of crap blue Camaro that looked like it had been decorated for a mexican fiesta parade.  The fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror, the red cloth bobbles that surrounded the inside, the bouncy head dog that she got rid of, the sarape blankets that were used as seat covers.  She loved it!  I was worried…

I remember the first night that she moved out so excitedly and I cried all night in bed just wondering if she had food or was warm.  Yep, first night.  Don’t think I didn’t get crap for that one.

I remember her first big girl job after she had moved back in to save money.  We would get up and have breakfast and coffee, getting ready for work together and leaving the house with our coffee mugs.  Kisses and hugs as we got in our cars and driving away.

I remember her wanting to move in with me to take care of me after my divorce.  Resting my head on her shoulder so I could cry.  Bringing her crazy friends over to cheer me up with bar b q’s, swimming in the apartment pool, dancing in the kitchen, watching movies and most of all just watching them laughing and talking about their 20 something party stories.  So much fun!

Now here she is about to have her own baby, living with her Sweetheart, working two jobs to save money.  My baby girl….    *tear*

My delicate flower is grown up and her spring is unfolding into a beautiful garden to which I pray no thorns will ever poke.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Eat a Hamburger!!

When one purposely embarks on a journey that will eventually change one’s life, they must realize that the original journey has many vein journeys that are available to stay on track.  Your job is to know which veins are needed to assist you.  One such vein journey for me is getting back to my comfortable weight so I feel healthy and strong again, even confident, oh and most importantly my photo on the back of my first novel.  wink wink

So after talking with an old friend and learning how he had lost 18 LB’s in the last two months by walking (little jogging) for exactly 1 full hour everyday.  I thought yayyy!!  I can do this too! As I have mentioned before, I have gained 20 LB’s in the last two years through love, laugh and happiness.

I bought a harness for my puppy, trained him on the leash and off we go.  By the third day, we have it down and I’m feeling really good.  I can feel the weight dropping off and falling to the earth as I walk. I feel like the sewing slaves in the movie OZ,  when they start unzipping the thick skins that they had to wear and reveal their dancer bodies.

I mapped out a route in our residential community for my hour and I’m watching the clock on my Iphone and note that we are on the home stretch.  Oliver and I are walking along one of the main roads and a car coming from the opposite direction is about to pass us when someone leans out of the car window and yells…

“Eat a Hamburger”

I turn and yell back as they drive off…

“I did, why do you think I look like this!!”

Then the skinny, very fit jogger passes me.  So they weren’t talking to me, oh embarrassed.  I ask the jogger about it and she just throws out that it happens all the time as she turns a corner.

I look around and just keep walking, it’s a journey.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sunday = Football and family??

Well another Sunday and yep football is back!  I remember the days when my house was full and chaotic with my kids, their friends, dogs and grandkids.  Cooking mega meals for the family and friends that had dared come over to join in the fun.  Football crowds and whistles flowing through the speakers on the big screen down in the family room.  The fated sounds of the men and boys screaming for their teams and betting or throwing out predictions.

Culinary aromas wafting through the air in the kitchen and the sound of wine corks popping from the delectable wine collection brought by that days partakers.  Outside you could hear ice shoved maliciously around the ice chest as someone was pulling a bottle out then the sound of popping open a cold one as the sliding door was yet again opened and closed. 

I used to get a little depressed that this was no longer my life and realized that the only thing I miss of my previous marriage was my life.  Not him or the marriage.

I now live with Sweet significant and today Sunday’s are relaxed.  We sleep late and watch football, cook food together and have the cocktail if we feel like it and enjoy our puppy Oliver.    I read a quote on twitter (the daily love) this morning which really spoke to me.

The good news is you need not wait a moment longer for anyone's permission but your own to be happy!

Isn’t that great!!  So with that I want to share another kid story and I hope your team wins today and you have a great Sunday!!


Youngest Kid~ Age 4

Youngest Kid and I are in the grocery store picking a few things up and he is such a good boy and always has been.  YK could always play by himself and in the store he would hold onto the cart as I walked and would sing or talk to me about his day or the best par is when he would tell me the stories that he would make up on the spot!  I loved it.

We get in line to check out and we are standing behind a man who is standing behind another woman that is talking with the clerk. Apparently the two women knew each other and were chatting, so as I begin to put our items on the sliding table and lay down the separator.  I notice that the man is getting inpatient with the two women.  He is shifting his weight from side to side and foot to foot.  His big sighs were released into the supermarket air with such exasperation.  Eyes were rolling, his head was shaking.

Then out of nowhere and as if in slow motion I see YK bring his hand up the man’s jacket and begin to pull it to get his attention.  As I lean over to grab his little hand (still in slow motion), the man looks down and YK says:

“I know how ya feel mister, I have to go poop too!”

I was mortified and highly amused at the same time.  I was hoping that the man found it just as amusing because I didn’t want this moment destroyed because I had to stick up for a four year old.  The man simply picked up his three items and looked at me and said smiling:

“Please go ahead of me, it seems your young man has to use the restroom”

He then stepped behind us and picked up a separator then placed his items back down. I said thank you with a little giggle, the ladies that were chatting started laughing and moved along to.  All for YK!  My little hero.

Happy Sunday!!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Where are my funny blog stories?

So of the many blogs that I have read, I note most are extraordinary mommies that work, blog, raise kids and cook.  They all have the funniest stories about their babies.  Many times as I think of what I am going to write, I instantly go to a story of my kids, but because my three babies are adults now, the only stories I have are in past tense.

Oh Boo hoo~

So today, as I do every morning, I begin the same ritual with my beautiful pom puppy Oliver.  Get up, go outside to potty, give him his vitamin, have breakfast, play and then I sit down and read my fav blogs, read emails, etc.  As I am having my breakfast and listening to music choice while I start to work on my book, I look down and see Oliver at my feet nipping at the chair.  A sure sign of needing to go outside!  He is thirteen weeks old and already potty trained.  Something that Sweet and I are very proud of although Sweet isn’t too happy of the case of potty pads that he bought.  I remind him that it will rain one day and we will need them.

So I get up and Oliver runs to the front door jumping and dancing (so cute) and I open the door so he runs down the porch steps onto the lawn, sniffs around and finds a place to pee.  As usual we come back in the house for a treat which he jumps and dances for because of course he is so proud.  Right? 

I sit back down at my laptop and this smart guy then gives me a look at the opening from the foyer to where I am sitting and stares at me.  I inquire.  He runs to the front door, so I get up and we go outside again, this time to poo.  We come back in and I sit down after all the claps, yayyys and good boy adulations.  I walk over to the laptop and before I sit he sits down by the pantry and waited for a second treat.

I just got treat snaked by my puppy!  Well at least now I now where my cute stories are ;}

Sunday, September 11, 2011

We will never forget!!

I remember where I was that horrific day ten years ago just as everyone else does.  I was taking the older kids to school and had my two step sons with me going back to the house.  They were still in elementary school.  I was listening to the Armstrong and Getty show on the radio when they had said something about an accident in New York and I remember that there was a strange tone in Jack and Joe's voices.

I pulled into the driveway and the boys and I ran upstairs to my room where I turned the TV on.  I was stunned!!  We were watching as the second plane hit the south tower.  I began to cry and the boys were asking what had happened.  With tears in my eyes, I replied "I think America has just been attacked."

Little did I know that ten years later we would have a controversal war, political infighting and many more dead.  Sad.

So with that said, please remember only the men and women that lost their lives that horrible day and pray for their families.

We will never forget ...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yosemite Trip * Last day

Well our last day and thinking about breaking down our tent and packing up again.  Exhausting.  Then in the beautiful quiet of the Yosemite morning, my cell phone rings very loudly with a call from my Dad.  I was shocked to hear the ring because we hadn’t had any reception for the last few days and Dad got through.  Weird.  He was puppy sitting my baby Pomeranian and wanted to know what time we would be home.  I told him probably around four.

So we got up, had coffee and granola yogurt.  Sat around for a bit, then began the most awesome job of packing it up.  We were finally out of there by noon and on our way home.  You know the trip home isn’t as fun as the ride up.  Oh it’s still beautiful and I love Old Priest grade road just past Groveland is lovely.  After that, it’s just roads and freeways. 

So now we are home and unpacking ice chests and food bags.  Dusting sleeping bags and laundry.  Yuck~

Anyhoo, we are tired and I have laundry to put in the dryer and go get my puppy from Gramma and Poppa’s house. So ta ta for now!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Yosemite Trip * Day 3

Well today we slept in until 8:30 this morning!  Yaayyyy!  Not sure where Quentin was but he wasn’t screaming nor was his screams echoing throughout the park.   Nope, just the morning voices of other campers and birds.  

Anyhoo, Sweet and I had a nice breakfast together of leftover pizza and coffee.  I made my coffee from the Folger’s singles that I found at Safeway.  Best invention ever!  I just heated water in my tea kettle and then steeped it in my old covered mug I use in the car for traveling.  FAB!!  Then once it was brewed, I poured the resulting sweet nectar of morn into the camping coffee cups.  Magda and Jeremy went to the showers and their son and his girlfriend took Memphis for a walk because he wasn’t feeling too good.  May have been all the Cheezits that I gave him last night.  Ooopsie!

Once everyone was back at camp we inflated our rafts.  Fun right?  Once the rafts were filled, I sat down because I was getting a head ache with all the plans to get the cars where they were going to be, or which entry area, blah, blah, blah.  I opened a Fat Tire and picked up girlfriends US weekly.  OK the plan!

Jeremy and his son will take their suv’s to the Swinging bridge and then he and son will take the other truck to the raft opening.  We are taking Sweet’s truck to the Curry village parking lot and then we will meet at the opening.  Magda will wait with Girlfriend at the opening so when we walk up, we will know where the opening is at.So Sweet and I carried our raft from the parking lot and met Magda and Girlfriend there to wait for Jeremy and Son.

We all get in our rafts and our journey begins.  I was so excited because I have been raft floating down the Sacramento river and this was Yosemite right?   As I have said before, from the time Sweet and I met right up to now, we have gained 20 LB’s or so each.  With this trip, we had to pose the question: Can you put two fatties in a raft that was meant for one person?

Answer:  You can’t

That raft trip was so comical, their were times Sweet got out to pull me and the raft dragged the bottom because the water was so low in areas that we weren’t going anywhere and my Bum felt it.  Magda and Jeremy were having the same problem because they had a two person raft but they had the ice chest in theirs.  Son and girlfriend (the young skinny bitches) had Memphis (82 pound Black Lab) in their raft.  We all had trouble.  It certainly was an adventure!  Trying to get in and out of the raft when the water was low, trying to get in when water high and the water was flowing.  At one point I fell in because Sweet was trying to help me out of the raft and let me just say, one foot in and one foot out.  Splits!   I can’t stop giggling to which this is frustrating him and I ask “Did anyone see me?”  to which he replied “Everyone saw”  Then he smiled.  Sheesh~

It reminded me of watching a movie!  I may put that experience in a book someday, hmmm.  Halfway through I wanted to know how much longer.  Yep, I actually asked.  We finally made it to the beach (which the wind had kicked up and the sand was stinging our legs) and had a few beers.  Then all the girls climbed up to the closest path and walked the rest of the way to the swinging bridge and the guys floated the rest of the way. 

The plan worked and we were all loaded into the vehicles with a wet dog and made our way back.  So finally back at camp, we showered and changed to get ready to eat.  Today’s cocktails were vodka crans with lime.  Mmmmm..

The final night’s menu was Chili cheese dogs and the rest of the salad.  Oh so good!  Then of course the smores!!   Good times!!!  We sat around after that and talked and enjoyed the company.  The moon was shining, and then I went to bed.  I was so tired.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Yosemite Trip * Day 2

Ahh, sweet morning light when camping.  Birds singing, other campers waking and Quentin!

This child was up at six in the morning screaming and screaming, then laying in the tent next to Sweet while he snores.  Camping at it’s best!

Luckily, I had my notebook and began writing different notes for my book.  I found that it was actually easier to write in my notebook than on the computer because then I don’t self edit.  It was freewriting in all its glory.  Once everyone in our site was moving, Magda and I started breakfast.  Scrambled eggs, bacon and texas toast grilled on a flat pan.  Mmmmmmmm…

So today’s activity was going for a bike ride around the whole park so after breakfast we packed up our ice chest and loaded it on the back of Jeremy’s bike.  We all got on our bikes and were moving by eleven.  Now since I have been with Sweet, he and I both have gained 20 LB’s in two years.  No es bueno ;{ 

So needless to say we weren’t riding our bikes like the fairy nymphs we once were, then after stopping at Happy Isles for a beer and beautiful view, we took off again to ride the park. About an hour or so later, Magda realizes that she doesn’t have her camera and that Jeremy had rested the camera on her platform attached to the back of her bike.  Jeremy has been going to Yosemite since a wee child and he knows the park better than anyone I have ever known, they flew back to Happy Isles to look for it to no avail.  Sweet pretty much kept up with them and I tried until I didn't.  *need to rethink the gym*

I personally would have cried, but she soldiered on.  Her son’s college graduation pictures were still on the memory card and Fourth of July.  Awwww….

So that put a dent in the fun and we went back to camp and had lunch.   The rest of the afternoon was spent out at the Swinging bridge to swim and oh the water was freezing but yet refreshing.  Sweet wouldn’t get in because he forgot his water shoes (oh, I forget them apparently) so his nick name was Sissy Foot while we all had fun.

Back at the campground after we had all cleaned up and hung the suits on the line.  We had Blue Death’s made by Magda, very interesting cocktail.  Sweet then grilled all the steaks and we had three different salads with some wine then the piece de resistance!!!!

Essss mores!  Love them!!  By my sixth smore, tired.  I went to bed.