Monday, August 29, 2011

A letter to my children

First Born, Middle Kid and Youngest,

I want to start by saying how much I love you and have always loved you.  Unfortunately, this has always been misunderstood and defined by many other people other than us.  The four of us are a family untied and now I want to write this to you all so you can have me to yourselves and I to you all.

First Born~

My beautiful boy and first born.  You are my greatest joy!  You are the most handsome, the most caring and the least understood.  I have thought about you everyday of my life and on some days smiled at your success, laughed at your stories of trials and tribulations and cried my heart and soul out of my existence for your love.  Not just the love I had hoped would return between us, but for the love of a woman that would understand you completely and let you be you.  Appreciate you for all that you are.  Caring, loving, funny, bull headed, sad, smart and beautiful inside and out.  Let go son. Give up the wall a little at a time so she can see you.  I want only good things for you and I pray that all the hard work you have accomplished thus far pays off.  I know you in my heart and I know you believe that you fail, but you haven’t.  You have succeeded three fold where many, many have failed.  I love you…

Middle Kid~

My spoiled and beautiful baby girl.  You and I have lived such a great life and shared so many stories, memories and comical eruptions of life.  You are the strongest of the whole family and the one with the most common sense.  I am so happy that you have found love and get to experience the camaraderie that you deserve.  I can’t wait to meet your child because I know the baby will be the greatest extension of you.  Please be sure to wipe away the scowl you often show the world and deny with an exasperated vengeance.  Your smile lights up a room and the growl that builds to a giggle is the greatest experience any one person can experience.  Please share this with the world.  I want you to remember that patience is not only a virtue, but also a defined quality that not many people have and most are not born with.  Those people must learn it and sometimes to no avail.  Love, laugh, giggle and work hard for the life you want as I know you are capable of my baby girl.  You are loved!

Youngest ~

Oh my Sweetboy!   You are my one true lovey boy.  I missed most of your childhood and as a penance, do not have some memories of you that I would love to cover me like a warm blanket and I am truly sorry for that not for myself but for you.  I let stupidity, vengeance, my arrogance and jealousy take that from us.  I do cherish the memories I do have, toddler years, kindergarten, your high school years, your entrance into adult hood and your adventurous soul looking for your calling.  To this I want you to know I am so proud!  You can accomplish anything my son because you were put here on this earth for a very special reason that will be revealed to you in small bits throughout your life.  I think you have already realized this and have begun the god planned journey you were intended to walk.  I do cringe with some of the habits you have picked up on this journey, but do not intend to caution you with change.  Please remember all the respect, manners, rules and love that you were raised with and you will be fine.  The habits you will hopefully outgrow and they have been picked up and released for experience’s sake.  I just want you to know that you are appreciated and I am so glad that you have someone that fits the bill of someone any mother would be proud to share her son with.  I love you with all my heart!

Remember one thing my loves, I am and will always be your Mother, Mommy, Ma and one true champion of all your dreams, hopes and loves.


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